Don’t call them "Geriatric Mothers." Motherhood after 40 —and even after 50— is a journey of life, conscious love, and resilience. Not a label.

For decades, society has repeated the same narrative: there is an "ideal age" to become a mother. As if lives, desires, and personal paths could fit into a single, universal mold.

Thus, a term was born and spread — "geriatric mother" — which, although it originated in medical contexts with purely technical purposes, has ended up being loaded with derogatory and stigmatizing connotations. A term that ignores the complex, brave, and deeply human realities of thousands of women who, now more than ever, are mothers after 40 or even after 50.

Because late motherhood is not a mistake to be corrected, nor a whim that deserves judgment. It is, many times, the culmination of a long and winding journey, full of difficult decisions, sincere searches, adaptation processes, and love sustained against all social expectations.

This is a story that deserves to be told without labels. With respect. With the complexity that real life demands.

A silent but profound change.

Just a decade ago, being a mother after 40 seemed like an exception worthy of comment. Today, it is a statistical reality that continues to grow. In Spain, in 2024, more than 10% of all births were to mothers aged 40 or older. In several autonomous communities, such as Galicia, Asturias, and Cantabria, that percentage exceeded 13%. There were even 43 births to women over 50 years old in just the first months of the year.

These numbers do not lie. They are not a coincidence.

The reasons behind this transformation are multiple and complex. It is not a "trend" driven by celebrities, nor a superficial trend fueled by social media. It is the direct reflection of how our societies, our economies, our relationships, and, fundamentally, our lives have changed.

We are facing a phenomenon that speaks of female autonomy, medical evolution, changes in family structures, and a profound redefinition of what the "right time" to become a mother means.

The paths no one sees.

There is a dangerous myth that says women who become mothers after 40 simply "let time pass" by prioritizing their careers or due to indecision. The reality is infinitely more complex.

Many women do not reach motherhood at advanced ages because they planned it this way from the beginning. On the contrary. For most, the path begins much earlier: sometimes in their 30s, others even in their 20s. And from the start, nothing is easy.

There are women who spend entire years trying to conceive naturally, month after month, cycle after cycle, without success. Then come the first specialized consultations, the tests, the diagnoses that sometimes do not provide clear answers. Then come the assisted reproduction treatments with their own eggs: IVF, ICSI, multiple attempts that do not always result in pregnancy.

When those treatments fail (the possibility of getting pregnant with their own eggs can be lower depending on each case), an emotional and practical crossroads arises: the possibility of choosing egg donation. A decision that involves mourning, deep redefinitions of biological motherhood, and a process of acceptance that can take months or years.

This entire journey is shaped by life itself: breakups that cannot withstand the pressure of infertility, unexpected professional changes, relocations for work, family economic crises, losses of loved ones, personal therapy processes. Late motherhood, in many cases, is the consequence of a journey full of real obstacles, not of passive or whimsical waiting.

The partner factor: a variable that no one controls.

There is another aspect that is rarely mentioned in discussions about late motherhood: not all women have the privilege of finding, at the moment they consider right, a life partner who genuinely shares their desire to start a family.

For many women, the main reason for late motherhood is not having "let time pass" due to professional ambition, but simply not having yet found the right person with whom to build a common project. Or having been in relationships that seemed solid but crumbled when it came time to talk seriously about children, or when the journey became more difficult than expected.

In these cases, single motherhood becomes a valid and profoundly brave option. But not all women feel emotionally, financially, or logistically prepared to take that path without support. And it is important —crucial— that each woman is completely free to respect her own timing, desires, and emotional boundaries.

There is no one right way to reach motherhood. There is no valid reason to judge someone who decides to wait to find the right partner, nor to value less someone who chooses to move forward alone. Both decisions require courage. Both deserve respect.

In the meantime, life doesn't stop.

Throughout these years of searching, waiting, and decision-making, the lives of these women do not freeze. They don’t remain static, waiting for the perfect moment to arrive.

Many undergo deep and necessary transformations: they break up with partners who didn't truly share their motherhood project, start new relationships more aligned with their values, strengthen their financial and emotional independence, completely redefine their professional careers, and move to cities that offer better opportunities.

They go through multiple losses: the loss of pregnancies, the breakup of significant relationships, the death of parents who never got to meet their grandchildren, the closing of professional cycles. They also experience constant new beginnings: new jobs, new cities, new partners, new medical treatments, new definitions of what family means.

Each step of this journey adds life experience, emotional maturity, self-awareness, and awareness of what really matters. When pregnancy finally arrives —whether achieved naturally, through assisted reproduction, or via egg donation— that child is received with strength, gratitude, and love that are not solely based on chronological age, but on everything that has been lived, suffered, learned, and consciously chosen.

Medicine evolves, risks are managed.

It is important to be honest: medicine continues to use terms like "advanced maternal age or late motherhood" to point out that certain obstetric risks statistically increase with age. It is not alarmism or derogatory use: it is a medical reality that needs to be known and professionally managed, and it is important for those approaching this path to also be aware of it.

Because, despite everything, it is true that natural fertility declines with age. At 40, the monthly probability of achieving a natural pregnancy is barely 5%. Pregnancies after 40 or 50 require more careful and frequent medical monitoring. There are increased risks of complications like gestational diabetes, hypertension, or preterm birth.

But it is also true that medical science has made extraordinary advances. Today, with techniques like egg donation, the success rates per cycle exceed 50%, figures that were unthinkable just two decades ago. Prenatal care is more precise and frequent, allowing risks to be detected and managed much more effectively than in the past.

Specialized reproductive medicine and obstetrics professionals are perfectly trained to accompany these pregnancies. What once seemed medically unattainable or dangerous is now possible and sufficiently safe with the appropriate professional support and necessary care.

The key lies in truthful information, rigorous professional monitoring, and conscious and informed decision-making. Not in fear or social stigmatization.

Beyond medical language: words that hurt.

What definitely should not continue to exist is a language that confines these maternities into categories loaded with prejudice and social disdain. Because "geriatric mother" is a term that inevitably evokes decay, fragility, decline. As if motherhood after a certain age were inherently a mistake, an irresponsibility, or an announced tragedy. As if a woman’s age between 40 and 50 were inconsistent with the role of motherhood, generating unfortunate similarities like "grandmother mothers."

Nothing is further from the everyday reality of these women, and from contemporary society, which has learned to embrace new concepts of age related to marriage, the right to have fun, wardrobe choices, even starting over professionally or with studies. Yet, despite all of this, old stereotypes about motherhood continue to persist.

Women who embark on the path of motherhood after 40 are not only still young from every social standpoint, they are, in the vast majority, active, informed, emotionally prepared people, with strong support networks and a deep conviction about what they are choosing. They are women who have held onto a desire through complicated years, despite significant medical, economic, social, and emotional obstacles.

They have navigated the healthcare system, made complex medical decisions, managed their finances to afford expensive treatments, built emotional support networks, redefined their expectations, and kept hope alive when everything seemed lost.

These stories are not exceptional or anecdotal: they are part of the demographic present in our country and many others that are now facing the worst demographic crisis in a long time. We are not talking about a few isolated cases that deserve anthropological curiosity. In 2024, more than 33,000 babies were born in Spain to mothers over 40 years old. These are 33,000 real stories, 33,000 families that were formed "late" according to traditional standards, but exactly at the right moment according to their own lives.

And these numbers grow year after year, in Spain, Italy, France, and around the world. It is not an anomaly: it is a new normal that requires respect, not stigma.

Different maternities, equally valuable.

These late maternities are neither better nor worse than those of women in their 20s or 30s. They are different. They have their own characteristics that deserve to be recognized without hierarchies or hateful comparisons.

They are maternities that have gone through deep existential doubts, real fears, significant losses. Maternities that do not arrive "by accident" or due to social inertia, but as a result of conscious, difficult decisions that have been thought out over years. Maternities that have required an extraordinary emotional, physical, and economic investment.

They are also maternities that come with specific emotional maturity, with generally more stable economic resources, with a stronger family and professional support network, with a perspective on life that only years of intense living can provide.

Not all women choose to be single mothers, and that is perfectly fine. Not all find a partner to accompany them in this desire, and it is not their individual responsibility.

Not all want or can —emotionally or financially— resort to techniques like egg donation, and that is also respectable; in fact, not all ultimately decide to pursue motherhood, and that too is valid.

In all this diversity of paths and decisions, what truly matters is absolute respect: that every woman can listen to her authentic desire, evaluate her real circumstances, and find the path that most resonates with her own life, her values, and her possibilities.

Towards a change of perspective.

What our society urgently needs is a radical shift in perspective. A language that does not stigmatize women for their reproductive decisions. A social and family environment that does not judge individual timing. A community that understands that the

paths to motherhood are multiple, all legitimate, and all equally valuable.

We need to banish forever the idea that there is a "correct" age to become a mother. It is important not to stigmatize women in their 20s for being too "early," nor those in their 50s for being too "late," as if everything that deviates from an arbitrary norm deserves to be questioned or pitied. We need to understand that reproductive decisions are deeply personal and are influenced by factors that are completely beyond individual control: the economy, the job market, the opportunities to find a partner, reproductive health, family circumstances.

We also need healthcare professionals who know how to communicate real medical risks without falling into alarmism or moral judgment. Media outlets that tell these stories with the complexity they deserve, without reducing them to stereotypes or extreme cases. Families that support without pressuring, that accompany without judging.

And above all, we need a culture that understands that being a mother is an intimate decision, a conscious one, and an act of deliberate commitment to the project of accompanying the growth of another human being, who without her, could not even exist.

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In summary: real stories that deserve respect.

Each story of motherhood is unique, unrepeatable, and deeply human, and it is always an incredible and wonderful act of love. If you recognize yourself in this journey, in any of its variations: you are not alone. There are specialized professionals, cutting-edge medical resources, and support communities that will accompany you with sensitivity, knowledge, and without any judgment.

Your story matters. Your motherhood matters too. Your timing is right for you.

📱 Do you need specialized support?

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Email: care@mater.clinic

Professionals who understand your path. Personalized care without judgment.